The Doctor's Dream
by fezwearingjellybananas
Summary: The Doctor has a "nightmare" about how his regeneration from Ten to Eleven (Tennant to Smith, however you fancy numbering them) could have gone differently. A little bit of nonsense.


"I don't want to go." It felt like dying, all over again. I hated it. I couldn't leave now. I had so much more to give, but it was too late. Regeneration energy flickered around me. Here it comes…  
The pain was intense, but it was over in seconds. I sat up.  
"Legs! I've still got legs, good. Arms, hands, ooh, fingers. Lots of fingers. Ears, yes. Eyes, two. Nose, I've had worse. Chin, blimey. Hair. I'm a girl." My hand shot up to my throat. "I am, I'm a girl! Oh, you are joking! I don't want to be a girl! I'm a boy!" I pulled my hair, which now reached my shoulders, in front of my eyes. "I'm not even a ginger girl! Oh this is just brilliant. I'm a not ginger girl. What even is that colour? Brown? Could this day get any worse?" A noise sounded from the TARDIS console, which seemed to be on fire. "Oh, that's right, I'm crashing. Not ginger, crashing and a girl. This regeneration sucks. Oh well. Geronimo!"  
At least I remembered how to fly the TARDIS this time. Wouldn't have been the first time I'd forgotten. Probably wouldn't be the last either.  
Gosh, I felt weird. All out of proportion. I was shorter than last time. Not as skinny, but with longer arms and legs. Bit gangly. I was still in the same clothes though. That would have to go. I seemed to have pianist's fingers too. They weren't half long.  
I tumbled though the TARDIS and suddenly realised the disadvantage of having a swimming pool in the library. Dripping wet and bruised (had I been human, those would have lasted weeks) from falling books, I heard a noise. I think I broke something. Grabbing a rope, I tossed it to the doors, which I could see in the distance. This was going to be a long climb.  
I was starving. I really needed an apple. A little girl was standing outside when I found my way out.  
"Can I have an apple? All I can think about is apples. Apples. I love apples. Maybe I'm having a craving. Never had a craving before. Maybe it's something about being a girl. This is a very strange day." I jumped up to the edge of the TARDIS and looked back in. "Will you look at that. Think you might be needing a new lick of paint old girl."  
"Are you okay?" The girl asked.  
"Just had a fall. All the way down there to the library. Bit of a long climb back up again."  
"You're soaking wet."  
"I was in the swimming pool."  
"You said you were in the library."  
"I was. The swimming pool's in the library. Bit of a weird place actually. Should probably move it."  
"Are you a policewoman?"  
"No, why would you think that?"  
"It says police on your box."  
"So it does. Did you call a policeman?"  
"Did you come about the crack in my wall?"  
"What crack?" I fell off the TARDIS. "Ouch."  
"Are you all right miss?"  
"Miss? Who are you calling- oh yeah. No I'm fine. This is all normal. I think. Is this normal?"  
"Who are you?"  
"I'm not sure yet. Still cooking. Had a bit of a strange day. Does it scare you?"  
"No, it's just weird."  
"No, the crack in your wall. Does it scare you?"  
"Yes."  
"Well, let's go then. I'm the Doctor by the way. I think. Can I still be the Doctor if I'm a girl?"  
"I think so."  
"That's all right then. I'm the Doctor, do everything I tell you, don't ask stupid questions and don't wander off." I tripped over my shoes. Feet had changed. Forgot that.  
"Are you all right?"  
"Early days. My feet are funny. I think my shoes are too big."

* * *

We were sitting in the kitchen, either side of the table, talking. I bit into something and spat it out again.  
"That's disgusting. What is that?"  
"An apple."  
"That's an apple? Apples are rubbish."  
"You said you loved them."  
"Nope, hate them. What about yoghurt? Got any yoghurt? My favourite yoghurt." She handed me something. I tried it and spat it out again. "Yoghurt. Just stuff with bits in. Yuck."  
"You said it was your favourite."  
"New mouth, new tastes. It's like eating after cleaning your teeth, only, not all of it tastes like toothpaste. You're Scottish right? Fry something." She turned the gas on and put something in a frying pan. "Bacon. That's good, bacon. Bacon is good." I tried a bit. "Bacon. Are you trying to poison me?"  
One more try.  
"Beans. I like beans." One forkful later. "Beans are evil. Bad, bad beans. Don't like beans. What about bread and butter? Got any of that?"  
Again. Nope.  
"And stay out!" I yelled, throwing it out the front door. I went back to the kitchen.  
"We've got some carrots."  
"Carrots? Are you insane?" I thought a bit. "I know what I need. I need, I need," I walked over to the fridge. "I need, fish fingers and, and, and, custard!"  
"You're weird."  
"Thank you very much."  
We cooked the fish fingers and custard. She pulled the ice cream out the freezer and ate some of that, leaving me to dip the fish fingers in the custard. Oh. This was heaven.  
"What's your name?"  
"Amelia Pond."  
"Nice name. Amelia Pond. Amelia Pond. Sounds like a storybook name. Are we in Scotland Amelia?"  
"No. We had to move to England. It's rubbish."  
"Oh, don't say that. It's not that rubbish. So what about your mum and dad then?"  
"I don't have a mum and dad. Just an aunt."  
"I don't even have an aunt."  
"You're lucky."  
"Maybe a little. So, where is your aunt?"  
"She's out."  
"And she left you all alone? That's not very nice."  
"I'm not scared."  
"Course not. A box falls out of the sky and a strange man-er- woman falls out of the box, eats fish custard and you're just sitting there. So, this crack in your wall? It must be very scary."

* * *

We went upstairs to her bedroom.  
"Blimey. Big crack. What's been in here then?" I would really have to find some new shoes. These were way too big.  
"I used to hate apples, then my mum put faces on them." She handed me an apple.  
"She sounds good your mum. I'll keep it for later. This wall is solid, isn't it?"  
"Yes."  
"And the crack doesn't go all the way through?"  
"No."  
"So where's the draught coming from?" I pulled the sonic out. "Oh, look at you, you need an upgrade too." There were some very interesting readings coming from that crack. "Oh. Wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey. That crack isn't in your wall. It's in the fabric of time and space. Are there ever any noises?"  
"A voice. It says the same thing. Prisoner Zero has escaped."  
"Hmm. Sounds like there's a prison on the other side of this wall and someone's escaped. We need to close the crack."  
"How?"  
"Good question. Looks like the only way to close it is to open it all the way. The forces will invert, it should snap shut. Either that or-" Probably not a good idea to tell her actually.  
"What?"  
"You know when grown-ups say everything's going to be fine and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better?"  
"Yes."  
"Well, everything's going to be fine." I took her hand and pointed the sonic at the crack. It widened and closed. Thank Gallifrey for that. But not before a giant eye had looked straight at us. "Told you it would close. All better."  
"What was that?"  
"Probably just a guard." I pulled the psychic paper out. It had a message on it. "Prisoner Zero has escaped. Why tell us? Unless…" My voice trailed off.  
"Unless what?"  
"Unless he escaped here. But he couldn't have. We'd know."  
We ran down the stairs.  
"Brand new me. Look, I'm not even a boy. Nothing works and I don't know what half this stuff is for. There's something in the corner of my eye." The cloister bell started going off. "Oh, no, not now, no, no, no. Sorry Amelia, I have to go. The engines are phasing, she'll burn."  
"It's just a box. How can a box have engines?"  
"It's not a box, it's a time machine."  
"What a real one? You've got a real time machine?"  
"Not for much longer it seems. I'll just take a five minute hop to the future."  
"Can I come?"  
"Not safe yet. Five minutes. I'll be right back."  
"People always say that."  
"Am I people? Do I even look like people? Trust me. I'm the Doctor." I jumped into the TARDIS. "Geronimo!" Great. In the swimming pool again.  
Oh, she wasn't well. Just piloting her was bad enough. She was hurt.

* * *

"Right! I'm back Amelia." I looked around. "It's day. Must have been a few hours. I've worked out what was missing Amelia! You've got to get out!" I ran up to her bedroom. "He's here Amelia, Prisoner Zero is-" A cricket bat came flying towards my face.

* * *

Hmm. This was new. Maybe it was girl's stuff again. I appeared to be handcuffed to a radiator. What was it with handcuffs? That person in the library had had them. Oh, that had confused me. How did she know my name?  
A policewoman was standing there. Oh good. She could help Amelia. That was good. I liked Amelia. Not often you met a little girl like Amelia Pond.  
"White female, mid-twenties, breaking and entering. Currently restrained. Calling for back up. Will you stay still?"  
"Did you hit me with a cricket bat?"  
"You were breaking and entering."  
"No I wasn't, I was looking for Amelia Pond. She invited me in about five minutes ago. Seen her? About seven? Ginger? Scottish?"  
"Amelia Pond hasn't lived here in six months."  
"Six months? I was six months late? Oh old girl, what happened? Was it your engines? Did they not quite get there? Or am I just a really bad pilot as a girl? I'm a girl Miss Policewoman. It sucks. Nine hundred years of time and space and I've never been a girl before. I'd rather not be a girl. Do you know how I can change back?"  
"What are you on about? What do you know about Amelia Pond?"  
"Who lives here now?"  
"Me. I live here."  
"How many rooms on this floor?"  
"Five."  
"I think there might be six. Look out the corner of your eye."  
"Why?"  
"Trust me."  
The woman did. Right behind her out of the corner of her eye.  
"That's not possible."  
"Perception filter. Should have noticed it sooner. Have you seen my screwdriver? Silver thing with a blue light in the end? It doesn't seem to be in my pocket. I need new cloths. Look at these. Ruined. My favourite tie. No. That was his favourite tie. Looks a bit weird on me. And the shirt's all wrong. Do not go through that door."  
Of course she did just that. Did no one ever listen to me? Good grief. Martha listened. Most of the time. Sometimes. Occasionally. Rarely. Honestly. I must just have one of those faces everyone ignores.  
No. I have a different face now. It's a girl's face. Why on Gallifrey am I a stinking girl? The Master would be wetting himself with laughter by now.  
"The screwdriver's silver and blue, yeah?"  
"Yes. Is it in there? Did it roll under the door?"  
"And jump on the table."  
"What? Get out of that room now. Run. Just run."  
"There's nothing here."  
"What did I just say? Corner of your eye. Will you pay attention? But don't pay attention to it. If it knows you've seen it, it will be very cross. Might even kill you. Just run."  
I heard a scream from inside the room. Seriously, why does no one listen to me? The door opened and the woman ran out. She tossed me the screwdriver and I locked the door before unlocking the handcuffs. These new fingers weren't half long.  
"Will that hold it?"  
"Yep. It's an interdimensional multiform from outer space, they're all terrified of wood." Ooo. Sarcasm. This new body could do sarcasm. Must have been thinking of Donna when I was regenerating. Explains why I was a girl. Had enough female companions. But if I was thinking of Donna, why was I not ginger? Two people in this new body, and both of them ginger? That's just mean. That is bullying universe and I will not stand for it. "Right you Miss Policewoman. Fancy turning and running? Your back up will help. I'll be fine." A light shone from under the door. "Yep. Run."  
"There is no back up."  
"You just called for some on your police radio. They aren't that useless."  
"It's not a real radio."  
"Bit useless then. Thinking of it, so's your uniform. What is the police coming to?"  
"I'm not a policewoman."  
"What? Course you are. Look at you. Uniform. Useless uniform, but a uniform and I'm hardly one to judge, I had a version who wore an impractically long scarf. Come to think of it, that's when I stopped practising Akidio."  
"Oh for goodness sake, I'm a kissogram!" She seemed rather annoyed. Apparently this version was annoying. Sarcastic, female and annoying? Defiantly thinking of Donna.  
"A what?"  
"I go to parties in fancy dress and kiss people."  
"Well, that's a useless job." The door opened. A man was standing there with a dog. "Hello. Shapeshifter. Like I said before Miss Fake Policewoman, run."  
"Attention Prisoner Zero. Human residence is surrounded." A voice sounded from outside.  
"So you're Prisoner Zero. Look, we have back up."  
"Prisoner Zero will evacuate the human residence or it will be incinerated."  
"Right. Run!"

* * *

We ran. Straight out the back door.  
"So why were you wearing policewoman clothes?"  
"It was either this or a French maid. Thought it would be better to dress up as a policewoman seeing as you were breaking into my house."  
"Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence or it will be incinerated."  
"Shed." I scanned it with my screwdriver. It looked too old to have been destroyed six months ago. "I destroyed that shed."  
"Got a new one."  
"But the new one's old. Twelve years old. I'm not six months late. I'm twelve years later. Blast. Why did you say six months?"  
"We need to go."  
"But why did you say six months?" I repeated the question. I needed this information. "Why?"  
"Why did you say five minutes?" She shouted at me then turned to go. I ran after her, down a little village lane.  
"What?" It dawned on me. "You're Amelia?"  
"And you're late."  
"You're Amelia Pond?"  
"I'm Amelia and you're late."  
"What happened? You were a little girl five minutes ago."  
"Twelve years ago."  
"You hit me with a cricket bat."  
"Twelve years and four psychiatrists ago."  
"Four?"  
"I kept biting them."  
"You what?"  
"They said you weren't real."  
"Prisoner Zero will vacate the human residence or it will be incinerated."  
"Where's that coming from?"  
"Everywhere."  
We ran in to a house. There was an eyeball on the television. So that's who it was.  
"Hello, sorry to burst in. We're doing a special on television faults in this area. Also crimes. Let's have a look."  
"I was just about to phone. It's on every channel. Hello Amy dear. Are you a policewoman now?"  
"Sometimes."  
"I thought you were a nurse."  
"I can be a nurse."  
"Or actually a nun?"  
"I dabble."  
"Who's your friend Amy?"  
"Who's Amy? I thought you were Amelia. Amelia Pond great name."  
"Bit fairy tale. I'm Amy now."  
"I know you don't I? I've seen you somewhere before."  
"Not me. Brand new face this. It's a girl's face. I don't like being a girl. Bit weird. I'm a boy. But really Amy? A kissogram? What sort of job's that?"  
"You're worse than my aunt."  
"I'm the Doctor. I'm worse than everyone's aunt." I paused. "That is not how I'm introducing myself." A voice came over the radio. In French no less. "It's everywhere in every language. Except baby. They never think to do things in baby."  
"What?" I looked out the window.  
"Earth's what, one point zero eight three two one times ten to the power of twelve kilometres squared? _[1.08321 x1012 km3]_ Molten core? Works out as about a forty percent fission blast I reckon. They'll need to power up first. Assuming they have a medium sized spaceship, I give us about twenty minutes. Twenty minutes sounds good."  
"Are you the Doctor?" A man asked. No idea when he walked in. Probably when I was doing maths. Probably didn't even pay attention to my maths.  
"That's where I recognise you from. You're the Raggedy Doctor, aren't you? The Doctor. All those cartoons you did when you were little. It's her isn't it?"  
"Shut up."  
"Cartoons? And who are you calling a her?" I thought about it. "No, her. Her is fine. Stupid regeneration, but her works for this one. Wish I was still a boy."  
"Gran, it's her, isn't it? It's really her."  
"Twenty minutes till what?"  
"Twenty minutes to save to world. Didn't you listen to the message Amelia? What do you think the message means by human residence, your house? Somewhere up there there is a spaceship ready to incinerate the Earth."

* * *

We walked out the house. Maybe there would be something in the town.  
"What is this place?"  
"Leadworth."  
"Does it have an airport? Nuclear power station? Even a little one?"  
"No. It's just a town."  
"How far away's the nearest city?"  
"Gloucester. Half hour by car."  
"Half an hour? We don't have half an hour, we have twenty minutes. Honestly. Twenty minutes and we have a post office. We don't even have a car. Do we have a car?"  
"No."  
"Fantastic." Oh. More sarcasm. Channelling my inner Donna there. I missed her. Didn't even get to say a proper goodbye. "Twenty minutes and we have a post office. That's shut. Why's there a puddle?"  
"It's a duck pond."  
"So where are the ducks?"  
"There's never any ducks."  
"So how do you know it's a duck pond?"  
"It just is. Is it important?"  
"Maybe. I don't know. It's too soon. I'm still cooking Amelia."  
The sky turned dark.  
"What's wrong with the sun?"  
"Nothing. There's just a forcefield in between the Earth and the sun. Why are people pulling their phones out? Why are you recording it? Get inside! What is wrong with you people?"  
"Are you winding me up?"  
"Why would I be winding you up?"  
"You said you had a time machine."  
"I do have a time machine. Looks like a police box. You saw it. You believed me."  
"Then I grew up."  
"Well, un grown up. Growing up's boring." Something flickered out the corner of my eye. "Wait. I saw something." I pulled Amelia down the road. "Saw something. Twenty minutes to save the word. I've had worse odds. Listen, Amelia." I turned to her.  
"Amy."  
"Amy. Go home. Go and say goodbye to your loved ones."  
"No."  
"So you'd rather stay? Oh that's brilliant, you can be my first friend in this body. As a girl." I shivered. Never going to get used to that.  
"No." She grabbed my tie, dragged me along a bit and shut it in a car door. Then grabbed the keys from the driver and locked it. Apparently she was a bit cross with me. I made a mental note not to pick another tie.  
"Are you out of your mind? Twenty minutes and you lock me in a car?"  
"Who are you?"  
"You know. I told you half an hour ago. Well. Twelve years ago."  
"No. Really. Who are you?"  
"Amy. Are we really doing this now? Twenty minutes. Sky. Ringing any bells?"  
"Talk quickly then."  
"That was the last one. All right."  
"Amy, I'm going to need my car back."  
"In a bit. Go and have a coffee."  
"Right. Yes." The driver walked off and I threw Amy the apple.  
"Catch. Like I told you before. I'm the Doctor. I'm an alien time traveller who seems to have regenerated into a girl which I am not happy about. Everything I told you is true, what's happening up there is true and we have twenty minutes to save the world so will you please let me out of this car?"  
"I still don't believe you."  
"Will you believe me for twenty minutes? Please Amy? It's the same apple."  
She unlocked the door. Ah, that was better.  
"So what do we do?"  
"Stop that nurse."  
We ran after the man. I grabbed his phone. He turned to look at me. Crickey he had a nose. Proper Roman nose and everything. Caesar would be proud.  
"The sun's going out and you take photos of a man and his dog. Why?"  
"Amy."  
"Hi Rory. Doctor, this is Rory. He's a friend."  
"Boyfriend."  
"Boyfriend."  
"Man and dog. Explain please."  
"It's her isn't it?"  
"Just answer the question please."  
"But it's her. Amy, how is that possible? It's her. The Raggedy Doctor."  
"Yeah, she came back."  
"But it was a story, a game."  
"Man and dog. Explain. Now."  
"Sorry. He can't be there. He's in a hospital in a coma." I said the last part at the same time as him. So this way how Prisoner Zero was doing it. "Yeah."  
"Multiform. See Amy? Clever disguise, but it needs a physic link with a dormant mind. Coma patients are ideal. That's what Prisoner Zero does."  
"Sorry. There's a Prisoner Zero too?"  
"Yes, keep up Nose Boy." One of the ships descended. Defiantly Atraxi. "That ship is scanning for non-terrestrial technology. Nothing says non-terrestrial like a sonic screwdriver." I pointed it at the street lamps and they exploded. "I think someone might notice." The telephone box was next. The screwdriver followed. "No, don't do that! I need you, come on." The spaceship started to leave. "Don't leave, that's Prisoner Zero."  
"Doctor, the drain."  
"What about it?"  
"It just melted and went down the drain."  
"Wonderful. No TARDIS, no screwdriver and did I mention twenty minutes? Well, that was what, three minutes ago?"  
We walked.  
"So that thing hid in my house for twelve years?"  
"Yep. No big deal, they live for thousands of years. Twelve years is nothing."  
"So how come you show up on the same day they do?"  
"Because they followed me. They saw us through the crack, you remember Amy? Followed me and I'm a bit late so they are too."  
"What's she on about?"  
"Nose boy, I need your phone."  
"She was a game. We were kids. I dressed up as her."  
"You dressed up as me? But you're a boy."  
"You kept saying you were actually a boy."  
"Right. Yes. I am a boy. Phone. Now. Please." Rory handed it to me. "These are all coma patients?"  
"Yeah."  
"But these pictures are all the multiform. Eight different coma patients, eight different forms."  
"He had a dog though. There's a dog in a coma?"  
"Don't be ridiculous Amy. The coma patient just dreams he has a dog. I need a computer. Your friend what's his name, the good looking one."  
"Thanks."  
"You mean Jeff?"  
"Oh thanks."  
"He had a laptop in his bag. Big one. Well, big bag, I guess it was a big laptop. I need Jeff's laptop. You two get to the hospital and warn people."  
"Your car." I watched the two of them leave and get into a mini.

* * *

Jeff was on his bed on the laptop.  
"Hello again. Laptop. Please."  
"No, wait."  
"It's fine. Give it here." I looked at the screen. "Blimey Jeff. Get a girlfriend."  
"Gran."  
"Hello again. You know, I never actually found out your name. Fifteen minutes."  
"What are you doing? And it's Mrs Angelo."  
"The sun's all wibbley, can't you see? That means somewhere there is a giant conference call which I can hack into. You know, NASA, Jodrell Bank, Tokyo Space Centre, Patrick Moore."  
"I like Patrick Moore."  
"Really? I'll get you his number. Watch out though."  
"You can't just hack a call like that," Jeff said.  
"Watch me." Six faces appeared. I held up the psychic paper.  
"Who are you?"  
"Can't you see the paper? I am. Who am I? A full qualified person."  
"This is a secure call, what are you doing here?"  
"Being qualified. Right. You should watch this."  
"It's here too. I'm getting it," Patrick said.  
"Fermat's Theorem the proof. The real one. Never wrote it down, got killed in a duel before he got the chance. My fault I slept in. Pretty impressive for him to pick the one day I actually sleep. Ah, what about this one? Why electrons have mass, and a personal favourite, why faster than light travel is possible with two diagrams and a joke. Look, I must be a genius. Now, pay attention."  
"Miss, what are you doing?"  
"Well Mr NASA man, I'm writing a computer virus. A very clever one, very fast one. And I'm writing it on a phone! Why? Never mind, tell you later. I'm sending it to you now, put it everywhere. Social media, radars, everywhere. Right. Anymore questions?"  
"Who was your lady friend?"  
"Patrick, behave yourself."  
"What does the virus do?"  
"Resets stuff. Everything. Clocks, calendars, clever microwaves, anything with a chip default at zero. But I could be lying, I do that a lot, so I'll let my best man explain why you should trust me. Jeff, that's you."  
"You what?"  
"You're my best man. Ten minutes, you'll be a legend, everyone on that screen will offer you a job, but first you must be magnificent. Make them trust you and make them work. This moment here Jeff is the day you save the world. Now hurry up, we have ten minutes." I ran off, then turned back. "And delete your internet history."

* * *

Rory's phone started ringing in my pocket.  
"Doctor, we're here at the hospital but we can't get through."  
"Look in the mirror! Don't worry, I've commandeered a vehicle."  
I borrowed a fire engine.  
The phone rang again.  
"Are you in?"  
"Yep. But so's Prisoner Zero."  
"You need to get out of there." Amy didn't reply. "Amy? What's happening?"  
"We're in the coma ward, but so's Prisoner Zero."  
"Which window are you in?"  
"Sorry?"  
"Window. Which one?"  
"First floor, on the left, fourth from the end." I hung up and sent her a text. This was exciting. I was driving a fire engine.  
The ladder crashed through the window and I walked in.  
"Sorry Rory, I broke your hospital. Right you. Off comes the disguise please."  
"The Atraxi will kill me." A woman with a child spoke.  
"You came to this world by opening a crack in space and time. Do it again and leave. Nobody needs to die."  
"I did not open the crack."  
"Well who did then?"  
"The Doctor in the TARDIS doesn't know," the little girl said. Prisoner Zero switched back to the mother's voice. "The universe is cracked. The Pandorica will open Silence will fall."  
"And we're off!" The clock had set to zero. "Good old Jeff. Needs a girlfriend."  
"You volunteering?"  
"What? No! I'm a boy!"  
"By all accounts Doctor, you are now a girl. Look at you."  
"Anyway. I know, that's just a clock. But look at what it says. Zero. Think the Atraxi might take the hint. They should be able to track it back to the source, it's only a computer virus. By the way, this is the source." I help up Rory's phone. A light shone from outside. "Oh look, they're here."  
"The Atraxi have tracked a phone, not me. They can't detect me in this form."  
"Yeah, but this phone is full of pictures. Of you. Every form you've learned to take. All being uploaded to the Atraxi. Look Amy, we did it! No TARDIS, no screwdriver, two minutes to spare. Who da man?" I looked round at Amy and Rory. They shook their heads. "Oh, I'm never saying that again. Fine."  
"I shall take a new form."  
"You can't. It takes months to form a physic bond."  
"And I've had years."  
"Oh." Amy collapsed. "Amy. You've got to hold on. Don't sleep. You have to stay awake."  
"Doctor," Rory said. I looked around at Prisoner Zero. He'd transformed into a tall, gangly girl with scruffy brown hair and a ripped suit.  
"Well that's rubbish. Who's that supposed to be?"  
"That's you."  
"Me? That's what I look like?"  
"You don't know?"  
"Busy day. Actually, I don't look half bad as a girl. You know. For a man."  
"Why do you keep saying you're actually a man?"  
"Because Nose Boy, for the past 906 years I have been. Being a girl's new. And I'm not even ginger to make up for it! Now, you. Prisoner Zero. If you've got a bond with Amy, why have you turned into me?"  
"I haven't." A girl stepped out from the curtain. "Poor Amelia Pond. Still a child inside, dreaming of the magic Doctor who will come back to save her. You're here now and what a disappointment it turned out to be."  
"No. You turned into me because she's dreaming about me. She can hear me. Amy, listen to me. You know that room I told you not to go in? What did you see in there Amy? Picture it in your mind. Dream about the room."  
"No!" Prisoner Zero transformed again. A blue eel like creature took place of Amelia.  
"You know, I've never seen such a good impersonation of yourself."  
"Silence will fall Doctor. Silence will fall." Prisoner Zero vanished. Guess the Atraxi worked out where she was then.  
"The sun's back to normal now. That's good? That means it's over?" Amy sat up. "Amy. Are you okay? You with us?"  
"What happened?"  
"She did it. The Doctor did it. With your help."  
"Not yet Pond, not yet." I pulled out Rory's phone.  
"What are you doing?" he asked.  
"Tracking the signal back. Sorry about the bill. It's going to be a whopper." I lifted the phone up to my ear. "Oi, you lot. Who said you could leave? Forget about Article fifty seven of the Shadow Proclamation? Earth is a level five planet and you were going to burn it. Did you think no one was watching? Atraxi, get back here, right now." I hung up. "Okay, now I've done it."  
"Did you just bring them back?" Rory turned to Amy. "Did she just bring them back? Did she just save the world from aliens then bring them back?"  
I walked down a corridor.  
"Where are you going?" Amy called.  
"The roof. Actually, hang on a tick." I dipped into the room next door. Clothes. Good. I needed new ones.  
"What's in here?"  
"I'm saving the world, I need a decent shirt. These ones are all raggedy and too big. Time for some new ones. Oh, this is nice."  
"You summoned aliens back to Earth and now you're taking your clothes off. Amy, she's taking her clothes off."  
"Turn your back if it embarrasses you." Amy and Rory both turned around.  
"Are you stealing clothes? These clothes belong to people."  
"Ah! What are these things? Amy help, what are these thing?" I looked down at my chest. Why wasn't it all flat?  
"What do you think they are Doctor?"  
"I don't know."  
"Here." She handed me a thing.  
"What's this?"  
"Here." She put it around my middle, covering the things. "If you're a girl, you need to wear one of these."  
"What is it?"  
"Take a wild guess."  
"But I don't- oh. I get it. Right. Shirt."  
I pulled out a white one with stripes, and some nice brown trousers, held up by some braces. I picked up a variety of ties, slung a jacket over my shoulder with the ties and walked up to the roof. Amy and Rory ran after me.  
"So, was this a good idea?" Amy asked, looking at the Atraxi waiting. "They were leaving."  
"Leaving is all well and good, but never coming back is much better. Come on then. The Doctor will see you now." It scanned me.  
"You are not of this world."  
"No, but I quite like it. Done quite a bit for this world and I don't appreciate you trying to destroy it." I pulled out one of the ties. "This one? What do you think?"  
"Is this world important?"  
"Important? What does that mean? More than six billion people live here. Sounds important. Got a better question for you. Is this world a threat to the Atraxi?"  
A projection of the world was produced between the Atraxi and me.  
"No."  
"Are these people guilty of any crime by the laws of the Atraxi?"  
"No."  
"Good. One more question. Is this world protected? You know you aren't the first ones that have come to Earth. There's been quite a few. What about this one?" I held up another tie. "No, I don't think so actually."  
The projection changed. Daleks, Cybermen, Silurians, the Master….  
"And what you've got to ask is, what happened to them?"  
The projection changed again. Me. From the first Doctor to my last regeneration. I picked a bow tie and put it on, along with a tweed jacket I'd noticed earlier. The projection stopped on Doctor number ten. I stepped through it.  
"I don't think I introduced myself. Hello. I'm the Doctor. Basically, run." The Atraxi turned and left. Fast. A noise came from my pocket and a TARDIS key was sitting there.  
"Is that it? Is that them gone for good? Who were they?"  
I didn't answer Amy's question. A brand new TARDIS sitting and waiting for me. This was exciting. She was sitting on some grass near the hospital.  
"Okay, what have you got for me this time?" I opened the door. "Look at you. Oh, you sexy thing you. Look at you!" I flicked some switches. Just a quick trip round the moon, I'd be five minutes.

* * *

I was outside Amy's house again. It was night. Bit more than five minutes. Couple of hours?  
"Sorry about running off earlier," I said as Amy ran outside. "Brand new TARDIS, it's very exciting. Just went for a quick trip round the moon, ready for the big stuff now."  
"It's you. You came back."  
"Course I came back. I always come back. Something wrong with that?"  
"And you kept the clothes."  
"I saved the world for, like, the millionth time. Never got anything out of it before. Shoot me. I kept the clothes."  
"Including the bow tie."  
"Yeah, it's cool." I adjusted it. "Bow ties are cool. I also kept the thing you put on me. That is not cool. It's so uncomfortable."  
"Are you from another planet?"  
"Yeah."  
"Okay."  
"So what do you think?"  
"Of what?"  
"Other planets. Want to check some out?"  
"What does that mean?"  
"It means come with me."  
"Where?"  
"Where ever you like."  
"All the stuff that happened. The hospital, the spaceships, Prisoner Zero."  
"Yep. That's just the beginning. There's loads more. Loads and loads."  
"Yeah. Those things. Those amazing things."  
"Yep."  
"They were two years ago."  
"Oh."  
"Yeah."  
"Oops. Sorry."  
"Yeah."  
"So that's…"  
"Fourteen years."  
"Fourteen years since fish custard. Amy Pond, the girl who waited. You've waited long enough."  
"When I was a kid, you said there was a swimming pool and a library."  
"Yep."  
"You said the swimming pool was in the library."  
"Yep. Not sure where it is now. You could help me look for it. Coming?"  
"No."  
"You wanted to when you were a kid."  
"I grew up."  
"Oh, don't do that. Silly thing to do that. Look at me. Nine hundred years and I still haven't. I even turned into a girl before I grew up. Well. Some of my younger selves were more grown up. But never completely."  
I opened the TARDIS door. Amy followed me inside.  
"Well, anything you want to say? Any passing remarks?"  
"I'm in my nightie."  
"Oh. I thought you were going to say it's bigger on the inside then run out again. Not sure why people do that. They always run out, run around her and then run back in. But I do love it when they say it's bigger on the inside."  
"I'm in my nightie."  
"Oh, don't worry about that. Plenty of clothes in the wardrobe. Also, possibly a swimming pool in the wardrobe. So, all of time and space, everything that ever happened or ever will. Where do you want to start?"  
"You sound so sure I'm coming."  
"Yep. You are."  
"Why?"  
"Because you're the Scottish girl in the English village. Fourteen years and you never lost your accent. You're coming."  
"Can you get me back for tomorrow morning?"  
"It's a time machine. What part of that don't people get? Why tomorrow morning? What's tomorrow?"  
"Just stuff."  
"All right. Back tomorrow in time for stuff." I looked around. A sonic screwdriver came out of a slot in the console. "Oh, a new one. Thanks dear. Look, it's green." I turned to the console and fiddled with some buttons.  
"Why me?"  
"Why not?"  
"No, seriously. You ask me to run away with you in the middle of the night. People don't do that without reasons."  
"Do I look like people? No reasons. Just fun."  
"No, really. Why me?"  
"Been knocking around on my own for a while. My choice. But I fancy some company and frankly, I've been talking to myself and it gave me ear ache."  
"You're lonely."  
"Yep."  
"That's it?"  
"Just that. Promise. Just need a friend."  
"Okay."  
"So, you okay? You coming? Because this place sometimes makes people feel a bit, you know."  
"I'm fine. There's a whole world in here. It's all true, everything you said. I'd started to think you were just a madman with a box."  
"Amelia Pond. If you're coming then there is one thing you need to know about me. Something important that might just save your life. I am defiantly a madman with a box. Well. A mad woman now." I laughed. "Goodbye Leadworth, hello everything!"  
We took off.

* * *

The Doctor sat up, eyes wide open. He seemed to have fallen asleep on the console. Amy and Rory looked down at him, looks of concern on their faces.  
"You all right Doctor?" Rory asked.  
"I had a nightmare. You were both in it."  
"This isn't like that time we shared that dream and you thought it was a nightmare when really, aside from the aliens, it was quite nice?" Amy asked.  
"No. It was a proper nightmare. I dreamt that when I regenerated, I turned into a girl-me instead of me."  
"That's your nightmare?" Rory asked, struggling not to laugh as he imagined the Doctor as a girl. "It can't have been that bad."  
"One thousand years of time and space Rory, I have never yet been a girl and I never intend to. Amy had to put a thing on me because I was a funny shape. Are you two laughing at me? It was terrifying! I was a girl, like Amy! What would River say if I turned into a girl? I wasn't even a ginger girl." He looked at his two companions. "Stop laughing!"  
"Oh Doctor," Amy said. "You can be such an idiot."  
"Did you wear a skirt?" Rory asked.  
"No. I wore these clothes, but Amy still made me wear a thing."  
"When you say a thing…"  
"Rory, shut up. I wouldn't laugh if you died and turned into a girl."  
"No, but I just died and turned into a Roman. And you would laugh if I turned into a girl. You'd laugh if Amy turned into a boy."  
"Yeah, well, that's not the point. I had a terrifying nightmare and you two are just laughing at me."  
"All right Doctor," Amy said. "We'll stop laughing. So, where to next?"  
"No idea. Let's find out. As long as I don't turn into a girl, I'm fine."

* * *

**Author's Note: So, just a little bit of nonsense for you. Hope you enjoyed it!**

**The original Eleventh Hour was written by Steven Moffat. I don't own Doctor Who, except in my dreams.**


End file.
